danger short-sight distance

The other day I was out walking my dog Magnum, and we came across a street sign that read “danger short sight distance”.

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Magnum like the sign because he got to pee on it, and I really enjoyed this sign because it signaled drivers to stop texting for a minute and drive your damn car. Either way, it served as a good reminder to pay attention.

Then I realized the significance of this sign and how it can apply to everyday life. Having short-sightedness is dangerous because it doesn’t allow us to see where we are going.

Life, unlike a car, doesn’t really slow down. Life is either moving (living), or it’s not moving (death). 

So pay attention to where this life is taking you. Not only what’s directly in front of you (short term), but whats further down the road as well (long term).

We don’t drive without having a destination in mind. So we should probably have a target to aim for in our life as well (goals).

Today is the final day of November 2018. 11/2018 will never be again. And I hope you made the most out of it. But, today is also the perfect day to start planning for December 2018 and even better yet, whatever may be beyond 12/2018.

 

 

 

 

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pathways to meaning

I was asked yesterday on my Instagram how you can find meaning in your life when you don’t feel like you have any.

  • First, we can often find meaning and a sense of purpose through our work.

So you may be thinking, okay but my job sucks, trust me, I’ve been there so, (1) change your attitude toward your crappy job; (2) find work which you enjoy, even if that means doing something for free, or volunteering with an organization you are passionate about.

  • Second, meaning can be found through loving someone/thing fully.

Nietzsche said, for those who have a why can bear almost in how.

Once you take the focus off from yourself and start doing things for the betterment of someone else you (family, spouse, lover, pets, etc) you gain more reasons that yourself.

Speaker and Author Eric Thomas used an example of this when finishing his Ph.D.  which was a real test of grit for the previously homeless high school drop out. He said by doing the work for his family, it became much easier to push through the struggle.

  • Third, we can find meaning through our attitude in which we take toward unavoidable suffering.

Life is a struggle. It comes full of hardships and pain. Humans are not immune to this. Without struggle, there is no life. Watch NatGeo wild for an hour and you will quickly see there is a struggle amongst all living species.

What we think of as unavoidable suffering is usually far from the true definition. Starbucks being out of cold brew is not a struggle. Like I said in numero uno, if you can’t change your circumstances, change your attitude toward them.

find meaning

What is the meaning for your life? Not the meaning of your life, but what gives your life a sense of meaning?

This can be something as simple as taking your dog for a walk, or as complex as working on a cure for cancer.

The truth is, it does not really matter which path you use to find meaning. Because meaning is individual and looks different for everyone.

Viktor Frankl argued that meaning is the primary motivator in life and that by living a life without meaning we are prone to experiencing bouts of depression and anxiety.

He figured that living a life full of boredom, we were also living a life without meaning. When we are bored with life, we bounce around seeking cheap thrills through temporary pleasures and excitement.

In this sense, boredom = a tendency toward addictions. Addictions can come in many forms; drug and alcohol, gambling, shallow relationships, social media, eating, shopping, etc.

If you find yourself struggling with these type of behaviors, ask for professional help. Our mental health is just as important as physical health.

We will waste no time seeking out the best vitamins, diets, gyms, botox, and plastic surgery to improve our physical appearance, but we rarely give any thought to improving our mental health and emotional stability.

Most of all, YOU are responsible for YOUR life. If you don’t like something about your life, take action, don’t wait to make a re-action.

 

where visualization falls short

Visualization is a form of motor imagery that allows a person to practice within their own mind.

When done correctly, this form of mental practice can be just as valuable as physical practice.

The idea behind mental practice is that your nervous system cannot differentiate between an experience that is actually taking place and one that is vividly imagined.

The problem that most people face when trying to use mental practice, is that we fail to incorporate all five of our senses.

To get the full benefit of mental practice, we have to do more than just visualize, we have to give each of our senses as much detail as we can.

The five senses Image result for five senses

  1. Sight
  2. Hearing
  3. Smell
  4. Taste
  5. Touch

By using all five of our senses, we can create a much more realistic experience for our nervous system, one that mimics actually physical experience.

Try this, during your next mental practice session, focus on one part of your performance and take a few minutes to experience each one of these features in as much detail as you can. Most importantly, give the experience emotion! Don’t just see it happening, but vividly feel it taking place.

 

 

what is mental toughness? The #1 trait

What is mental toughness? How do YOU define mental toughness?

Think about that for a moment. We increase our physical toughness through controlled exercise. But how often do we ever think about the non visible side of strength?

Research has identified that having an unshakable self-belief in your ability to achieve your competition goals was the number one most important factor of mental toughness.

This trait, above all else, can separate you from being okay to being good.

Or even better, it can separate you from being great to being excellent.

You must continually pursue excellence.

Pursuing excellence is different than being a perfectionist. Perfection does not exist, but excellence, on the other hand, is as real as it comes.

To pursue excellence even in the face of adversity, we must have an unshakable self-belief.

You must hold your head up high and carry yourself confidently toward your goals.

You have to believe in yourself before anyone will ever believe in you.

purpose

Finding purpose. This is something we hear tossed around a lot.

Unfortunately, the harder we seek to find our purpose, the further away from we get from our actual purpose in life.

For years, I underwent self-analysis in an effort to “find my purpose” in life.

Despite having looked at this problem for years, I never felt like I was any closer to discovering my true life purpose.

The problem with this approach is we often become too concerned with finding our purpose and stop focusing on what gives our life purpose in the first place.

For me, the easiest way to finding my purpose was to stop looking for it.

Spend less time seeking what gives you purpose, and spend more time doing what gives you a feeling of purpose.

Living a life of purpose is much like happiness, or success. These are all self-defined beliefs. Meaning you have to know how you define them before you can ever reach that definition.

So how do you define purpose? 

Think about that for a time before answering this question, because the answer is going to be key in finding and living your own life purpose.

For me, a purpose driven life is adding value to those around me. Whether it is my family, friends, clients, or my even my dogs. The more I can help them live a better life, the more a feel a strong sense of purpose in my own life.

life

debt

debt /det/ noun – something, typically money, that is owed or due.
Fuck being in debt.
Five steps I used to get out of debt
  1. Inventory – what do you really need to spend? Chances are there is quite a bit of trimming you can do with your spending.
  2. Budget – Once you get a spending idea, start setting a planned budget each month. Any additional leftover funds (bonuses, gifts) go toward paying off your highest interest rate loan.
  3. Sell – Part ways with the shit you don’t need. Don’t use it, sell it. Don’t need it, sell it.
  4. Extra payments – like I said above, any profits you make or any additional funds can go toward paying off your high-interest loans (think credit cards, cash advances, etc. Make sure these payments are on principal only and make sure there is no early pay off fees associated with your debt. Once that debt is paid, move on to the next highest interest debt. Rinse and repeat until you have everything paid off or sold.
  5. Save/Invest – now comes the fun part. starting saving and investing.
I am happy to say for nearly the past 10 years I have been debt free, other than my house which isn’t considered “bad” debt since there is (hopefully) a positive return on investment if I were to sell.
At the ripe old age of 22 years, I decided I was tired of being in debt. At that point I was single, and somewhere in the vicinity of $30,000+ in debt.
I know I don’t normally talk about money on this site, but I strongly feel that debt can have a negative impact on your health. Getting your debt, and spending under control is one step closer to mastering your self-control and discipline.
A man in debt is anything but a free man.
When I decided to get out of debt, the first thing I did was take account of what I actually need to spend to live, and what I was wasting on material junk.
After having an idea of a “budget”, I took inventory of what I actually needed to keep, and decided to part ways with all the extra stuff in my life.
This wasn’t easy by any means. I remember when I sold my motorcycle, a beautifully customized Yamaha R6, I told the buyer I couldn’t do it once he showed up with cash in hand.
Luckily for him, and for my debt, I held up my word and signed the title over. That was hard. But relieving myself of the debt felt fucking good.
Over the following few years I sold off several more of my “toys”, any profits I would make from the sale went toward payments on higher interest items like credit card debt.
Eventually, I was able to finally fly the debt-free flag, and take one step closer to charting my own financial future.

Keep in mind, not all debt is bad debt. Things like business debts, or even home mortgages are sometimes a necessary evil when it comes to finances.