We, as humans, are highly complex creatures.
We are so complex that most of us cannot even answer the question, who am I.
What do you mean when you say I am? Are you the clothes you are wearing? Are you the name you were given at birth?
Spend a few minutes to get to know your true selves.
How do we do this?
This is a somewhat popular phrase. What I mean by this is, get to know yourself. Take time to understand yourself. To note of how your body reacts to certain stimuli. Take note of how certain foods digest, how you feel after training. How you feel when you speak to people. And probably most importantly after all, how you feel when you are alone.
There is something taboo about being alone. It can terrify us to our core. This fear is often highly evident in children.
Kids hate sleeping alone. They are afraid of the dark. So parents coddle them. Parents reassure them that there is no boogie man under the bed or lurking in the dark shadows of the closet.
Keep in mind, these are the same parents that tell these same kids that Santa sneaks into their home in the dark of the night. That the tooth fairy leaves money under their pillow. I fat bunny drops candy off. But don’t worry, there’s nothing under the bed. Tonight.
So mom and dad are there to reassure them and tuck them in for a good night sleep. Maybe they lay with them until they are both fast asleep.
But what happens when mom and dad are gone? Babysitters or even worse, older siblings are not there to offer the same support.
Back utter terror. Kids hate being alone.
This fear might subside with age. After all, it has to. No one wants to be that middle schooler that can’t attend the sleepover because they still sleep on their parent’s floor. So they bury the fear of being alone. At least for now.
Then off to school, we surround ourselves with friends, college brings more of the same with the introduction to opposite sex (or same sex) as the overnight company. Then comes marriage. Then life speeds by.
We still never really face the demon under our bed. We never look the closet monster in the eye. We never face the fear of being alone. Thus we never truly get to know ourselves in this manner.
I challenge you to spend time alone. Completely alone. No phone, tablet, computer, book, or companion. No dog, cat, bird, or fish. Just you, and you. Start small, spend 60 minutes with yourself. After you master 60 minutes, bump it up to 90 minutes.
Listen to yourself. Get to know yourself. Set your own life in order. Take the time to work on yourself. Emphasis the qualities and habits you love about yourself and start working on demolishing the habits that bring you down.
How do we change bad habits? One at a time. Start today.