You do You

One of my clients recently asked me, how to deal with negative feedback and criticism. By negative feedback, I mean people basically just bashing you for no real reason other than the fact that they have the anonymity of the interweb to back them up.

My response his questions was basically, I do not care what other people think, say, or talk about me. It really doesn’t bother me what other people are doing because the actions I take are in support of my direct mission and internal values.

Anytime you put something out there for the public, especially if it is online like this blog, or social media, or YouTube, you will have both haters and supports. People will bash your material, and curse your name to no end. On the other side though, there will also be people who are eternally grateful for your stuff.

Some people are receptive and need to hear what you want to say. Actually, they want to hear what you have to say. And there will always be others that may need to head it, but don’t want to hear it.

Neither one is good nor bad. 

I love having people tell me my posts have helped them battle with depression, and fight through substance abuse disorders. But, that is not what I do this stuff. I write because I enjoy writing. I post because I enjoy posting. I don’t do it for outside circumstance. I am indifferent to how my audience receives my content. I do it for me. If it helps a few people along the way – good – great, I am glad. If it makes a few people mad, along the way – oh well. Don’t follow me then.

Dealing with adversity, dealing with supports, dealing with haters requires you to be indifferent to a certain extent. Obviously, I want to help people become stronger both mentally and physically. But that doesn’t mean that I would change who I am on the inside in order to help someone else. I am not going to change my ways to help someone else change theirs.

This is something that way too many coaches get stuck on. They think everyone should like their stuff. They want everyone to like their stuff. That will never happen. Not everyone will like you, and your material and not everyone should like you and your material.

Guess what? It’s okay that not everyone loves you. Coaching would be incredibly boring if everyone mindlessly followed you and wholeheartedly agreed with everything you did and said. This would hinder your growth as a coach, and more importantly your growth as a human.

I have a friend that makes artisanal knives, these things are beautifully handcrafted and hand forged knives. Are these tools made by coddling solid pieces of raw iron until they become knives? No. They are baked in fire and beat over and over and harder and harder and hotter and hotter until they become thick, strong, sharp, sturdy blades.

Be a blade.

5 Ways to not give a f**k

Learn to grow from adversity.

Keep in line with your mission and values.

Follow your bliss, not the latest fads.

Work on yourself first.

Accept others praise and criticism, and move on.





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