I don’t really know where or how to start this article. But I wish someone told me a long time ago that you are the average of those you spend most of your time with.
Maybe someone did tell me, who knows. Chances are I would not have listened to them anyways. So let me regress, I wish I understood back then – you are a product of your environment. Luckily I fully embrace that philosophy today.
Better late than never.
Up until a certain point in my life, I never really understood that you literally become what you hang around.
If you hang around with losers, sooner or later, you become a loser.
Even if you don’t become a loser, society will quickly associate and label you a loser because of those you spend most of your time with.
I’m not saying all my friends up until this point were losers. In fact, that’s far from the truth. I have a lot of friends from various stages of my life that were, and still are, great people.
What I am saying is, be mindful of who you let come into your surroundings. Be mindful of your inner circle, or your closest friends.
If you are not learning and growing, from and with, the people you spend the majority of your time with, run. And don’t look back.
I was never arrested, but a lot of the people I used to associate myself were. So by default, society, or people, in general, begin to point the finger at you and label you as such. Not because you are a bad guy, but because your group of friends is trash.
Now, I don’t really care about labels. Or how other people view me in general, but the problem is, after awhile you start believing what others are saying about. You start to see yourself in the same light they are shedding on you.
You might not be a bad guy. But if you are spending your time with people that are up to no good, sooner or later, you’ll be one of them.
Humans are pack animals. Whether we admit it or not, we usually start to assimilate in with our current. So ask yourself, what pack am I blending into? Is this pack helping or hurting who I want to become?
I turned out just fine. But I often ask myself, where would I be if I chose my crowd a little better, a litter earlier in life.
When I was a young dumb, juvenile male, I spent to much time hanging out with gangbangers and losers. And although I never really joined their ranks as a professional criminal I was associated with them enough that my name started getting brought up in police investigations.
I wasn’t happy about that (neither was my mom) (sorry mom). So I started making a conscious effort to pick a better crowd to associate myself with.
You see, one bad apple doesn’t always ruin the bunch, but a bunch of bad apples will definitely ruin one good one.
- Choose friends with common goals
- Choose friends that build you up and help you grow
- Choose friends that share your core values
- Choose friends that are there for you and celebrate your wins just as their own